Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
