p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
