capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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