I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
