I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
