If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
