READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
