A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize