New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
