mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize