420 ftw
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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