I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
