too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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