I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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