It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's always time for handjobs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
