have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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