So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
