His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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