Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize