They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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