i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
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He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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