Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Your cock deserves a montage
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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