We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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