So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
