she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
