make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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