4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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