is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize