You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
