bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
