Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
