Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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