I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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