she was so not down for the gang bang
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
