just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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