Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
