also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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