Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
