you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
