hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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