only if we run a train.
done.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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