the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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