I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
