i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
