found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
