Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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