escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
