then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
