I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
