is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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