im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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