why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
