btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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