The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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