Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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